| By Cenk Uygur on Iraq My theory is that President Bush is trying to get impeached. He's tired and he just wants to go home. His bed in Crawford seems so enticing now. All this presidenting has worn him out. After Katrina he hasn't even been able to take his signature five week vacations. So, he's subconsciously trying to get kicked out of school so he doesn't have to do the homework anymore. Why else would you break so many laws? Even if he thought he could get away with a couple of illegal or grossly incompetent acts -- with the Republican Guard protecting him at all times in Congress and a press that had slipped into a Fox induced coma -- he couldn't possibly think he could get away with all this. He let a whole American city go. This isn't Travel Gate. He lost New Orleans. And he still didn't want to show up to work. He was told ahead of time what dangers lay ahead and he stayed on vacation. He was told that Osama bin Laden was determined to strike inside the United States a month before September 11th. What was his reaction? He stayed on vacation. And we lost the World Trade Center. How many more American landmarks are we going to lose with this guy asleep at the wheel? Let alone the treasure in American lives we lost starting a civil war in Iraq. Now we find out that he authorized leaking classified information to protect his butt politically. This after he had already ordered the NSA to break the FISA law because he was too lazy to get warrants like any other president. This guy just doesn't want to do the heavy lifting of the presidency. He is tired of all the homework and just wants to go home. Why else would you brazenly say this when you already know you're the person who ordered the leak: "Let me just say something about leaks in Washington. There are too many leaks of classified information in Washington. There's leaks at the executive branch; there's leaks in the legislative branch. There's just too many leaks. And if there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. And if the person has violated law, the person will be taken care of. And so I welcome the investigation." He welcomed the investigation because he couldn't wait for nap time. Calgon, take me away! He says the person "will be taken care of" because he longs for the days when he was taken care of. When he got awful grades in school and wanted to go to a top notch college anyway - no problem, dad will take care of it. Didn't want to go to Vietnam or even bother showing up for National Guard duty - no problem, dad will take care of it. Run a business into the ground - no problem, dad will take care of it. If someone could just take care of him now, everything would be back to the way it was. Don't worry George, we can make your problems go away. It's a little thing called impeachment. Just ask anyone in your party, they know all about it. I know you've been trying hard to get relieved of your command because it's too much homework. Who wants the hassle of trying to catch the guy who actually ordered 9/11? Why else would you say: "I don't know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and really don't care. It's not that important." Of course, it's important, but it's hard work. And George is tired. Who wants to actually bother trying terrorists in a court of law when you can just keep them in secret prisons indefinitely? Who wants to do legal interrogations when you can just torture? Who wants to bother getting permission from a judge before wiretapping Americans? Who wants to bother cleaning up Iraq? Who wants to bother rebuilding New Orleans? Georgy needs a nap. He's dying to get fired. Will someone put this guy out of his misery and impeach him already? Believe me, you'd be doing him a favor.
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