Bill Maher's Advice To Dubya

rense.com

Bill Maher's Advice
To Dubya
4-18-6

"Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you anymore. There's no more
money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war
because you used up the Army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your
term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.

Listen to your mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards' maxed out.
No one's speaking to you: Mission accomplished.

"Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and
walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company
and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next
fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man?

"Now I know what you're saying. There're so many other things that you
as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know.
There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating
the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church.
And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

"But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you
govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly! I'm
surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a
catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty
president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water
and snakes.

"On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four
airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of
New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky.

I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how
much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

"So, yes, God does speak to you. What He is saying is, 'Take a hint.'"