Saturday, August 26, 2006

Cenk Uygur: The NeoClowns Are at it Again

The Huffington Post | Raw Feed
The Huffington Post Raw Feed

Cenk Uygur: The NeoClowns Are at it Again

By Cenk Uygur on Iraq

The New York Times had an article on Thursday about desperate neoclown warmongers who are dying for more war. This time the neoclowns want to attack Iran, because attacking Iraq went so well.

Newt Gingrich had a gargantuanly stupid quote in the article, which we'll get to in a second. But first let me start with my favorite quote by a "senior United States official," otherwise known as a neoclown inside the Vice President's office. He is referring to the intelligence agencies who have found no evidence of an Iranian nuclear program:

"We're not in a court of law," he said. "When they say there is 'no evidence,' you have to ask them what they mean, what is the meaning of the term 'evidence'?"

Aren't these the same guys that were all over Clinton for asking what "is" is? Read the above sentence again. First, he admits that there is no evidence. Then, his best defense is to question what the word "evidence" means. That's embarrassing. This is a person in a position of power inside our government.

Gee, I wonder how the intelligence got manipulated in the lead up to the Iraq War. If you'd like a refresher course, just watch how they're doing it right now with Iran.

Here's my second favorite quote from the article:

"The consensus of the intelligence agencies is that Iran is still years away from building a nuclear weapon. Such an assessment angers some in Washington."

Isn't it a good thing that they are years away from a nuclear weapon? Wouldn't it give us more time to figure out how to stop them? Not if you're a neoclown. This means war might be delayed. They must have war and they must have it right now. War, war, war.

Now, we come to our old friend Newt Gingrich, who has stopped cheating on his wives long enough to make this absolutely asinine statement:

"When the intelligence community says Iran is 5 to 10 years away from a nuclear weapon, I ask: 'If North Korea were to ship them a nuke tomorrow, how close would they be then?"

Not as close as North Korea.

Let me ask a very simple question: If North Korea already has the weapons and they are also in the axis of evil, why aren't we attacking them? Why are the neoclowns trying to attack a country that might buy it from the North Koreans when they could just attack North Korea, who they haven't paid a lick of attention to in six years?

The answer is 100% undeniable - because it isn't about the weapons. That's just a convenient excuse used to scare the American people. Iraq didn't have any weapons and we're still in there three and half years later. It was never about the weapons. One of the main neoclown architects, Paul Wolfowitz, pretty much admitted it after the Iraq War started. Now, they're shamelessly bringing that old dead horse out again.

Other quick points about Gingrich's buffoonish point: 1. Isn't he admitting that Iran doesn't have any weapons and would have to buy them from North Korea? 2. What would prevent them from buying those weapons the day after our air strikes? 3. In fact, wouldn't they have a far greater incentive to buy nuclear weapons if we attacked them? Especially because they would have learned that their current weapons were not enough of a deterrent and North Korea's nuclear weapons were.

You see, I don't think Gingrich is actually this dumb. But I do think he believes you are. He thinks he can sell any bag of goods to the US population because he is so much smarter than everyone else. Like when he so cleverly divorced his wife as she was lying in a hospital bed with cancer. Man, that was crafty.

Look, I don't have a problem with neoclowns making these arguments. It's a free country. If you want to put on a shiny red nose and big floppy shoes and make clowning your calling in life, more power to you. What I don't get is why we're still going to the circus. Haven't we had enough of this freak show?

These guys should be the laughing stock of the country right now. And here is all of Washington taking them very seriously to this day and having a legitimate discussion about whether we should attack another Middle Eastern country that did not attack us and has no weapons. How many times do we have to point out how absolutely insane that is before the people in power (politicians and the press) get it? It shouldn't that difficult.

Anyone who backs this war drive will look back and regret it forever. Anyone who still wants to get in the car these neoclowns are driving is going to be eternally embarrassed. You're going to think - what was I thinking? Consider this a preemptive intervention. Get out of the clown car and slowly back away. There is still time for you to pretend you were on to them the whole time.

The Young Turks


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